What do I do with the injustice and traumatic experience? The anger? The hurt?
Sometimes in life bad things happen to us. As the saying goes ‘bad things do happen to good people’. It seems so unfair and unjust. But sadly, things do happen to us which are out of our control. There are no ‘should have’, ‘could of’, ‘would have’ etc. Life happens and we are left with the question, ‘Now what do I do to carry on?’
Also, how can I extend care, compassion and graciousness to those who hurt me and show no remorse and/or continue to do so? First, we must define what are injustice, hurts, betrayal, disappointment and brutality. Smede (1996) explains this quite succinctly, “Slights and snubs are annoying, irritating but easily ignored and overlooked. However, when the snubs and slights are unjust, disrespectful, violating privacy, ongoing and consistent, they can soon be a betrayal, a disappointment or brutality.” In our journey in life, we will encounter betrayal, disappointments and brutality and will query how does one forgive?
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References:
Smedes, L. B. (1984). Forgive and forget: Healing the hurts we don't deserve. Harper & Row.