Forgiveness is seen to be a key step towards healing and moving forward in our mental well-being. Often times, issues that arise from patients with anxiety symptoms are resentful and harbour anger towards an individual, marital spouse, family and community (Deka, Chaudhury, Bora & Kalita, 2007). Therefore, it is crucial to discuss the act of forgiveness in our lives to encourage healthy living. It has become apparent to many medical and psychology professionals that forgiveness is not restricted to the area of religion or theologians, but rather it is also studied by the medical field because of its important factor for well-being and resilience. “Forgiveness can be a powerful health enhancement (Oliner, 2005)”.

            The psychological case for forgiveness is overwhelmingly persuasive.  Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed.  Forgiveness frees the forgiver.  It extracts the forgiver from someone else’s nightmare. Forgiveness also removes the right to vengeance and prevents people from attacking others.  Forgiveness may initially seem to produce more pain than the original wound since it involves accepting voluntarily the harm or evil that has been experienced and letting the other person go free (Oliner, 2005).

            Forgiveness does not guarantee a return of trust or reconciliation in a relationship, but it is fundamental to healing from the damage caused when one has been hurt by another (Olson, 2011). In other words, forgiveness can be conceptualised as a way to offer hope and peace. So what is forgiveness? It can be understood as putting the past behind and at rest, in order to move forward in life with peace and joy. It does not mean forget.  Forgiveness is accepting things that have been done, accepting the reality of the situation and coming to a conclusion to the situation.  The process of forgiveness provides relief from destructive consequences such as anger, bitterness, defensiveness, blame and resentment (Spring, 2011). As well, research demonstrates when working towards forgiveness and healing, it can lead to reconciliation promoting good mental health and a healthier holistic well-being (Hargrave, 2011). 

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Models of Forgivenes

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1. The first model of forgiveness that will be highlighted is illustrated by Enright and the Human Development Study Group . 

The first step is to experience a negative emotional consequence

Second step is experiencing a need for resolution

Third step is deciding between strategies such as justice versus mercy.

Fourth step is finding a forgiveness motive, after which a decision to forgive is made.  Last step is executing internal forgiveness strategies such as experiencing a need for action and/or executing behavioral reconciliation, which leads to the final step of feeling internal emotional release.

This group later further developed their model. Additional 4 steps which emphasized the commitment to forgive, viewing the offender in context of the situation, expressing empathy for the offender and compassion for the offender were included, which expanded their model to twenty steps.

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2. Hargrave and Sells developed their own model of forgiveness.

The first step is having insight, followed by the notion of being understood, heard and seen.  The next couple of steps are being given the opportunity for compensation, which leads to the final step of the overt act of forgiving. 

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3. Another well respected model often used in conflict resolution is by Augsberger . 

This model begins with the stage of restoring an attitude of love.  The second step is the release of the painful past.   The next step is reconstructing the relationship. Following this step is the ability to reopen the future. Lastly, reaffirming the relationship is the final step.

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4. Cunningham has a different approach to forgiveness. 

He uses concepts to show the process of forgiveness. Cunningham postulates that the person works through stages and begins with judgement versus denial.  Then the individual progresses to the next stage of humility versus humiliation.  The third stage is mutuality and negotiation.  Lastly, the final stage is actual act of living out the progression and processing of the hurt, injustice and pain through to forgiveness.

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5. Pettitt’s  model demonstrates another perspective of forgiveness.

The first step is to set the stage for forgiveness by committing to no longer suffering from past memories. When this has been accomplished, the next stage is the commitment to five necessary mindsets.  They are to understand the unmet needs that underlie people’s behavior.  This is followed by daily relaxation training to evoke calmness with the purpose of becoming open to accept responsibility for one’s own part in the hurtful situation, finding a course of action which is fair to all and remembering the good in the other person.  The next step is to change one’s mind about one’s desired outcome. Following this step are the steps of acceptance of the past, cancelling expectations and finally, restoring the relationship.

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6. The last model of forgiveness which will be presented was created by Smede . 

The first stage begins with feeling the hurt by the offender.  After this step, the person experiences anger and hatred towards the offender. Then there is a progression to remembering the pain of the offense but wishing the perpetrator well. This results in reestablishing a relationship with the offender, rediscovering the humanity of the offender, surrendering one’s right to seek revenge and revising one’s feelings toward the offender.

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REFERENCES

Augsburger, D. (2000). The new freedom of forgiveness. Moody Publishers.

Deka, K., Chaudhury, P. K., Bora, K., & Kalita, P. (2007). A study of clinical correlates and socio-demographic profile in conversion disorder. Indian journal of psychiatry, 49(3), 205.

Doherty P. J. & Kay, P. (2011). The Apology. Family Therapy Mag. 18-20.

Freedman, S. (1998). Forgiveness and reconciliation: The importance of understanding how they differ. Counseling and Values, 42(3), 200-216.

Freedman, S., & Chang, W. C. (2010). An analysis of a sample of the general population's understanding of forgiveness: Implications for mental health counselors. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 32(1), 5-34.

Hargrave, T.D. (2011). Balancing concerns in therapeutic forgiveness. Family Therapy Mag. 14-17

Oliner, S. P. (2005). Altruism, forgiveness, empathy, and intergroup apology. Humboldt Journal of Social Relations, 8-39.

Kaminer, D., Stein, D. J., Mbanga, I., & Zungu-Dirwayi, N. (2000). Forgiveness: Toward an integration of theoretical models. Psychiatry, 63(4), 344-357.

Lichtenfeld, S., Buechner, V. L., Maier, M. A., & Fernández-Capo, M. (2015). Forgive and forget: Differences between decisional and emotional forgiveness. PloS one, 10(5), e0125561.

Oliner, S. P., & Zylicz, P. O. (2008). Altruism, intergroup apology, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Paragon House Publishers.

Smedes, L. B. (1984). Forgive and forget: Healing the hurts we don't deserve. Harper & Row.

Spring, J.A. (2011). How do we forgive someone who isn’t sorry or alive? Family Therapy Mag. 21-23,

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